It's a damn cold night...

Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
いつか失ってしまうのかな。薄れてゆく笑顔と君を守りたい。
-- D-technolife

If fate is a wheel, then we are the sand that is crushed between the cogs.

Don't judge a life by one difficult season.

独自并不代表孤单,在一群人中狂笑着有时更寂寞。
-- 吴庆康

At times it may not even seem rational, but the heart has a computing ability that is far more accurate and far more precise than anything within the limits of rational thought.
-- Deepak Chopra
于是我让孤独更孤独,有一种不是悲伤的悲伤,才是刻骨铭心的悲伤。
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
-- St Francis.
People's actions are influenced by their expectations. People respond not just to what is happening now, but to what they anticipate will happen in the future.
-- Sloman
不管你会不会忘了我,我只想告诉你一个秘密。
--《不能说的·秘密》

Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind.
-- Deepak Chopra

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death but when I stand in front of you yet you don't know that I love you.
-- Tagore
Do do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.
-- Matt 6:34

まだ不器用に笑うね まだ悲しみが似合うから
キミに降る痛みを 拭ってあげたい すべて I for you
-- I For You

the optimistic pessimist

supposedly an adult, she thinks like an adult (too much, if you ask me). deep inside, she is nothing but a little girl, with her little lofty dreams and ideals. and oops, she is breaking them, one by one.
more often than not, she is just an angsty emo kid.

she is only but
a passer-by,

an onlooker,
a walking shadow.

and this girl can't stop writing.

she stalks

|| cyn bea bao zou mel ||
|| joan weepz ||
|| blockc yeanching lehia kexi zhenlin horace alvin dina sandra becca tzehee ||
|| cruzteng peifen dasmondkoh ||
|| xiaozhu xiaogui sunxiezhi ashin kangyong ||
|| derrick jinglun stefsun natho lawrencewong ||
|| feliciachin joannepeh jeanetteaw sharonaw ||
|| xiaohan hyr chimkang mingde dannyyeo ||
|| xuyunling alvinology mrbrown esther ||
|| drbondar psychdigest ||
|| kfdrawing iwrotethisforyou thingsweforget ||

After all, what is in the past but what we choose to remember? They can choose not to hide it, to take what's broken, to feel the pain and know that it will heal. They know where happiness lies, not in a cave or a country, but in love and the freedom to give and take what has been there all along.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

she watches on

Others desire to experience the blessedness of giving, but we often frustrate them by refusing their help.


“你有心事吗?”
“或许有一天,我会告诉你吧。”
--《不能说的·秘密》

she holds on

 Memories were also a way of looking in a mirror, but it was a jagged mirror of broken glass, one that cast imperfect reflections. Like shards, these memories drew blood.

February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 January 2012 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 July 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 April 2017 May 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 April 2018 June 2018 July 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 February 2019 April 2019 June 2019 August 2019 October 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 July 2020 November 2020 February 2021 April 2021 July 2021 September 2021 November 2021 March 2022

she never gets

永远不会交的功课 || 永远不会实现的愿望

|| you ||

Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself... Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.
-- Deepak Chopra

she thanks

Designer : Wei Jun
Brushes : Deviantart - Spy Glass

I don't know, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm a pair of eyes and ears, and I'm just trying to stay safe and make sense of what's happening. I know what to avoid, what to worry about.I'm like those kids who live with gunfire going off around them. I don't want pain. I don't want to die. I don't want to see other people around me die. But I don't have anything left inside me to figure out where I fit in or what I want. If I want anything, it's to know what's possible to want.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Saturday, February 28, 2009
withers away @ 6:04 pm

每次振麟介绍的歌曲、MV,都是那么正中下怀。就如他说的,same taste what。
说的也是。
容忍的人其实并不笨,只是宁可对自己残忍

It's something Mystical

withers away @ 1:04 am

man has the ability to be okay with each other even after a demeaning/insulting/ranting/pissed off/vulgarity-filled incident. in the spur of the moment = comes fast, goes fast. what a wonderful ability this is. thank God.

It's something Mystical

Friday, February 27, 2009
withers away @ 11:18 pm

im forgetting things. impt things at that. v impt things. that i CAN'T afford to forget. omg.

It's something Mystical

withers away @ 1:23 am

we were too ambitious.
chicken fillet. pork. beef balls. crab balls. pork balls. sausages. canned clams. canned button mushrooms. canned straw mushrooms. brown mushrooms. 3 packs of enoki mushrooms. 2 packs of xiao bai cai. tau pok. wantons. 2 egg tofus. bee hoon. sparkling juice.
gloria. terence. yee voon. me. (supposed to have manyun but she forgot. supposed to have bei en but. but. she left for u-know-who. sad.)
preparation took some time while the guy was sleeping after work. cutting and washing everything. carrying the table from lounge to short wing. borrowing mamuts from everywhere. then the guy finally woke up. or awoken. his first reaction: wah siao ah so much food. HA. he's right.
obviously we attracted much attention. in the end we enlisted help.
sharon. zhen lin. kaijia. alex.
still not enough. so we ended in a v classic way. zhong ji mi ma. (and i didnt kena at all! im good at it.) lame things such as black magic, what time is it, johnny woosh came in. we never get sick of these do we. we made a huge din i think. but it was fun. because it felt like school.
this is the beauty of hall. hallmates. u v close to each other? no not really, for me. but u still have a lot of fun when u come together. its warm, though transient. hall really did me a lot of good, among the a lot of bad.

It's something Mystical

Thursday, February 26, 2009
withers away @ 12:22 am

这类的歌曲不难让我感动,或者说产生共鸣,只是一直好奇着它的歌名为什么这么叫,尤其是自己没听出所有的歌词。总觉得一定有什么原因,所以通过这个叫做google的神奇东西找到了答案。(今天自己的表达怪怪的,对不起。接下来一个月左右,请大家将就将就啦。)
这本书我一直都很想读,只是它一直只是放在我脑后的一个书名,没有真正去找。藉着这样一个心血来潮,我马上很快地在线上把它读完了。很短,很简单,所以很快就读得完,但也是一本可以慢慢细细咀嚼、品尝、深思、反省的书。它畅销的程度,不是没有理由的。
书中的道理何其多,回归的又是同一个道理,我不是很能够说得上来。里头的道理,很巧的,*清喉咙*很多都是一只狐狸说的。
“只有被驯服了的事物,才会被了解。人不会再有时间去了解任何东西的。他们总是到商人那里去购买现成的东西。因为世界上还没有购买朋友的商店,所以人也就没有朋友。如果你想要一个朋友,那就驯服我吧!”
“很简单:只有用心才能看得清。实质性的东西,用眼睛是看不见的。”
“正因为你为你的玫瑰花费了时间,这才使你的玫瑰变得如此重要。”
“你现在要对你驯服过的一切负责到底。你要对你的玫瑰负责……”

好了,有些也不是狐狸说的,而是故事的主人翁从中领悟的。
“那些人们,他们往快车里拥挤,但是他们却不知道要寻找什么。于是,他们就忙忙碌碌,来回转圈子……”
“我清楚地感到发生了某种不寻常的事。我把他当作小孩一样紧紧抱在怀里,可是我感觉到他径直地向着一个无底深渊沉陷下去,我想法拉住他,却怎么也办不到……”
“我再度意识到要发生一件不可弥补的事。我觉得我的心一下子就凉了。这时我才明白:一想到再也不能听到这笑声,我就不能忍受。这笑声对我来说,就好象是沙漠中的甘泉一样。”

回到那歌曲上,我终于了解其中的意思。
我,会是谁的玫瑰花;谁,会是我的小王子;哪里,会是我们的612星球。

612星球 - S.H.E.

满园玫瑰 我以为 找到我那一朵
认真爱了 却狠狠 刺伤我的双手
责备什么人也没有用
玫瑰都红
难免看错

望着天空 爱是否 活在童话里头
小王子说 有些事 流浪过才会懂
原来每颗心都有个洞
找不到真爱
会一直寂寞

我但愿有一个人在等我
在属于我的612星球
好让我 忍着痛 也愿意往下走
不快乐至少 要有梦

一定会有一个人在等我
无条件拥抱着我的所有
相遇前 我还要 翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快
请你等等我

擦干眼泪 一个人 漂流在这宇宙
小王子说 爱一定 开在某个角落
路上相爱的人那么多
我会幸福吗
在什么时候

It's something Mystical

Tuesday, February 24, 2009
withers away @ 11:08 pm

when i was on my trek, with rain pelting down on me, it felt cool as waves of memories hit me. how we went out for lunch, how we ran in the rain, how we laughed our heads off, how we make a fool of ourselves in our school uniforms, bascially, just school. now, school is not school anymore.
contemplated if i should pop in, for the sake of popping, and i did. am glad that some things do stay just like how i remember them. maybe not for long, but at least now, it's still the same. memories must be the best creation within man.
怎么办,我恋上了“熟悉”这种感觉。

It's something Mystical

Monday, February 23, 2009
withers away @ 11:31 pm

if a guy looks like he doesn't give a shit about u, he genuinely doesn't give a shit about u.
sometimes the happy ending has no wonderful guy. sometimes the happy ending is just u. picking up the pieces. moving on.
时间.沉淀.处理

It's something Mystical

Sunday, February 22, 2009
withers away @ 1:29 pm

if both recognize that there's a problem, then it's probably no longer a problem because they can work together to solve it. if one thinks there's a problem and the other doesn't, that's the real biggest problem. the one who thinks there's a problem just lets the situation continue, because why should he let the one who doesn't think there's a problem think that there's a problem? it only adds on to his problems when he thinks there's no problems.

五年前,他的专辑名为《七》。所以当我听到DJ说这首歌的歌名,自然而然觉得这是上张专辑非主打的歌。谁知道,是五年后,这张专辑非主打的歌。谁管,好听就好。

7 - 陈奕迅

忘记三个月过去
忘记你的消息
忘记忙碌的白天
忘记有多空虚

忘记每个纪念日
忘记要去哪里
忘记失眠的黑夜
忘记我有多恐惧

忘记每次呼吸
忘记每天想你
忘记每一秒都在
自己骗自己

如果我真的可以
忘记我们的过去
这世上只剩你唯一明白
我背上7的秘密

忘记你常说的话
忘记你的微笑
忘记你在我怀里
忘记从前多好

忘记熬过来以前
忘记每分每秒
忘记你走了以后
忘记你变了多少

忘记上次呼吸
忘记上次想你
忘记上一秒还在
自己问自己

如果我真的可以
忘记我们的过去
这世上除了你谁会明白
我背上7的秘密


如果我真的可以
忘记所有的过去
这世上只剩下你唯一明白
我背起就是你
忘记忘记

It's something Mystical

Saturday, February 21, 2009
withers away @ 10:22 pm

沉默的羔羊 - 赵传

当别人误解我的时候
我总是沉默
沉默对我来说其实是一种反驳

当世界遗忘我的时候
我一个人过
幸福对我来说其实是一种传说

当敌人越来越多
朋友都离开我
当爱情变成一种负担
却无法解脱

我不是沉默的羔羊
我有话要讲
给我一杯酒
让我有勇气
像你吐露我的悲伤

我不是沉默的羔羊
我也有梦想
当明天太阳升起
照在我的脸上
我一样能散发光芒

羔羊也会怒吼
沉默是一种力量
你是不是和我一样
在现实中学会坚强

It's something Mystical

Friday, February 20, 2009
withers away @ 6:46 pm

*fans self* *takes deep breaths*
u dun have to emphatise with me. i thought the least u could do was to understand the situation and see that i have no choice. i appreciate the frankness, but it obviously doesnt feel good to see smth like that. i dunno how to respond, really.
always kena shot from head to toe. 体无完肤过后看你还可以shoot哪里。

It's something Mystical

withers away @ 5:05 pm

as a capricorn, i love to see things in order. so its cool being the organizer. BUT. doesnt work that well when being the organizer is my part time job, and being a student is my full time one.
can i just save the planet and not do anything else? i think life will be much simpler that way:)
如果你不曾心碎,你不会懂得我伤悲。当我眼中有泪,别问我是为谁,就让我忘了这一切。

It's something Mystical

Tuesday, February 17, 2009
withers away @ 11:51 pm

we had this really interesting and hilarious realization abt ourselves today.
we have no time to talk.
we have no time to eat.
we have no time to go toilet.
we have no time to bathe.
and we know that v soon, we're going to have no time to sleep.
then i realized i actually wrote BLUE when it was clearly BLACK. wth.
i knew it was coming. told u already. talk to me at your own risk. u have been forewarned.

It's something Mystical

Monday, February 16, 2009
withers away @ 2:15 am

从振麟那里认识了这首歌,又被吸引住了。情歌天后,不是盖的。她唱起来就是那么舒服,那么好听。她这次的主打不是不好听,实际上是好听的,但就是找不到那种感觉。但是听了这首,就知道是这首了。就是这首。意境很美,很美,真的很美。我词穷了。



情歌 - 梁静茹

时光是琥珀 泪一滴滴被反锁
情书再不朽 也磨成沙漏
青春的上游 白云飞走苍狗与海鸥
闪过的念头 潺潺的溜走

命运好幽默 让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙 换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽 寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头 反而更自由

慢动作 缱绻胶卷
重播默片 停格一瞬间
我们在告别的演唱会
说好不再见

你写给我 我的第一首歌
你和我 十指紧扣 默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有 我这一首情歌
轻轻的 轻轻哼着 哭着笑着
我的 天长地久

命运好幽默 让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙 换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽 寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头 反而更自由


长镜头 越拉越远
越来越远 事隔好几年
我们在怀念的演唱会
礼貌的吻别

你写给我 我的第一首歌
你和我 十指紧扣 默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有 我这一首情歌
轻轻的 轻轻哼着 哭着笑着
我的 天长地久


陪我唱歌 清唱你的情歌
舍不得 短短副歌 心还热着
也该告一段落
还好我有 我下一首情歌
生命宛如 静静的 相拥的河
永远 天长地久

It's something Mystical

Saturday, February 14, 2009
withers away @ 11:53 pm

开场时,他像是stage manager般说了这段话:每个人都是自己故事里的主角。有时有些人会觉得自己也是别人故事里的主角,但其实只是配角,只有一个镜头。有时候更惨,镜头被剪掉了都还不知道。但是,有时,人会剪的。而我,就是收集回忆,在别人剪错时,把这些回忆给他们。
套陈可辛的话:“周迅代表忘,金城武代表记。周迅不喜欢记忆,她很病态地把那些记忆都删除了;金城武喜欢记忆,也同样用病态的方法保留记忆。”
美。
我有没有说过,我很喜欢金城武的眼神。
在影片中,我看到了自己。
开头是难忘
结局是忘记

爱曾经存在
或者只是我的感觉

It's something Mystical

Friday, February 13, 2009
withers away @ 8:03 pm

当时只是好奇,想听听他的声音,到最后开始看〈星光3〉,很大程度上是因为他。他的声音属于高亢干净的,像是他的偶像张信哲林志炫那种,但是唱功技巧上他还有很多很多可以进步的空间。这么快就推出专辑,相信是为了要趁机借助他的超人气。他的第一主打并不是我的最爱(其实很多专辑我都是这样),但是他的声音、曲风,让我知道要找到我喜欢的歌并不会太难。这首歌算是还蛮和我的胃口的,只是副歌的最后一句总是听来怪怪的。

其实我真的很难过
只是难过都沦为沉默
可能我真的不懂得
让你更快乐

我想和你在一起
却在你未来缺席
给你的爱
那些美丽
已长成蔓藤缠着我的生命

在你的未来缺席
像是一出剧本 未完待续
余留伏笔
把未完成的从容继续
如果还有如果
就算瞬间老去毫不犹豫
缺席 - 黄靖伦

It's something Mystical

Thursday, February 12, 2009
withers away @ 9:41 pm

this is just to cover my ass.

for these two months:
if i flare up at u, im sorry.
if i scream at u in person/over msn/whatever, im sorry.
if i use the word freak/hell/damn/shit/bloody/a combination of the above too often, im sorry.
if i get hot tempered and overreact when its only a joke, im sorry.
if i get fed up/frustrated/irritated/stressed/angry and i display it when its not your fault, im sorry.
if i get spiteful, im sorry.
if i keep quiet because im fuming, im sorry.
if i talk nonsense, im sorry.
if i am unable to organize information or analyse situations, im sorry.
if i cannot form complete sentences in my conversations, im sorry.
if i am anti-social, im sorry.
if i rant too much, im sorry.
if i look dao, im sorry.
if i dao u, im sorry.
if i look like im going to kill someone everyday, im sorry.
if i look/become a living dead, im sorry.
if i ruin your day, im sorry.
because all the above is confirmed to happen in these two mths. it has already started. and it will happen every other day, if not everyday.
im sorry.

It's something Mystical

withers away @ 2:32 am

the joy of having neighbours when they sleep late along with u, is that u can borrow insecticide from them, and they are willing to come out of their mahjong game to help u settle the business with a big flying cockroach.

It's something Mystical

Monday, February 09, 2009
withers away @ 10:34 pm

i believe i've mentioned that friday the 13th really jinx me, and i do end up jinxing myself and ppl ard me. beware. two are coming up real soon, and i know one is going to be a freaking *insert random vulgarity* day already.

It's something Mystical

Sunday, February 08, 2009
withers away @ 12:49 pm

羯羯跟妈妈上街,走在路上,突然下起雨来。妈妈拉过羯羯的小手,说:“下雨了,快往前跑!”
羯羯慢条斯理地问:“那前面就不下雨喽!?”
- 明白现实懒得改变的摩羯
取自:联合早报副刊

It's something Mystical

withers away @ 1:42 am

no one said anything in life is easy. nothing is easy. nothing.
if a problem stays with someone for a long time, there is a good reason for it. it's not for nothing.
misery is better than nothing.

It's something Mystical

Saturday, February 07, 2009
withers away @ 2:34 am

for once, they have nicer lyrics. like the metaphor about the ticket. but actually i dunno what the title means. and no offense, they still cant sing.

寂寞暴走 - 飞轮海
这里的景色叫做曾经爱过
曾存在你的拥抱和温柔
撕开票根独自重游
票价是想念你的痛

你说做朋友并不是朋友
我们比路人还陌生得多
感情的废墟重建以后
谁会偶尔回来走走

我站在回忆的入口
搜集我左胸口暴走的寂寞
赤裸裸的失落一目了然的痛
让我无法说泪是因为吹风

我沿着命运的箭头
无奈向前走到下个人的怀中
爱你还没爱够你却要我放手
谁懂在时间的秘密花园中你从没走

我说的爱你说的太自由
自由到彷佛我只是说说
未来的风景我没爱过
我只想念你的所有

我的爱你想你都以极速向回忆暴冲
他们能看见的是虚伪的从容

It's something Mystical

Monday, February 02, 2009
withers away @ 2:29 am

趁眼睛还看得见时,多看些美好的。
趁嘴巴还张得开时,多说些好听的。
趁手还能动时,去做些想做但没时间做的。
趁脚还能走时,去些想去的地方。
趁脑子还记得住时,多珍惜些美好且痛苦的回忆。
i just want you to know who i am

It's something Mystical